Here are the winners of the M-LAW competition for wackiest warning

label of the year as printed in www.NewScientist.com, a science magazine in the U.K.:

1st prize

"Do not use for personal hygiene" – on a toilet brush

2nd prize

"This product moves when used" – from a child’s scooter

Previous winners have included:

*  "Remove child before folding" – on a baby’s buggy

*  "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally" -

on a digital thermometer

*  "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the

product is operating" - on an   electric hand blender

*  "Harmful if swallowed" – on a three-pronged bass fishing lure.

*  "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device" -

on a bag of air used as a packing material

*  "Do not use as a ladder" – on a 30 cm (12 inch) tall CD rack

*  "Never iron clothes while they are being worn" - on a household

iron

*  "Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will

not extinguish a fire" - on a smoke detector

*  "Do not eat toner" - on a laser printer cartridge

*  And on a pair of cyclist’s shin guards – "Shin pads cannot protect

any part of the body they do not cover."

From the 1990's:

* On gallon container of a laboratory disinfectant, Hibitane, "Avoid contact with brain".

*On condom dispensing machine, "Warning-Do not drive while using this product."

*With Acme Ultrasonic Dog Whistle, "This product will be ineffective if your dog is deaf."

*On Kenner Toy Cmpany's "Batman returns" costume: "CAUTION-FOR PLAY ONLY: Cape does not enable user to fly."
 

New Scientist’s Feedback regularly publishes absurd product

warnings, and other funny real-life tales. For more amusement, visit

www.newscientist.com

Silly warning signs here in the U.S. appear even sillier than those above, because U.S. case law requires product warnings to be more elaborate to be legally correct. A silly warning sign gets sillier as it grows longer.